By Jack Aievoli
May 22, 2023
There is lots that’s historically lousy about this year’s 2023 NBA finals.
Two teams are down 3-0. The average margin of victory is 13 for the EC finals, and a bit over 7 for the WC finals. There have been 0 memorable games, or even moments.
Yawwnn. The days of Bam blocking JT at the rim, for game, are yesteryear. This is paint drying, and when it’ done, it’ll look like Marcus Smart missing another 3.
It’s fun to watch Jokic slowly demonstrate his incredible arsenal of offensive tools. We’re glad Jamal Murray is back, the man belongs on some type of all-time playoff team, with Jimmy Butler.
But turning a basketball playoff game onto a clinic is not what we ordered. This is boring hoops.
And it’s a trend.
Remember the Suns-Clips W/C finals from 2021? Yeah, neither did we. So we looked it up.
Decided in 6. Average margin of victory: 11 points. A single 1 point game, that again, we don’t remember, and cannot generate the interest to look up, ‘cuz who cares?
How about the 2021 E/C finals, Bucks-(what happened to the)Hawks? This one really did keep us up all night. Out of horror, after looking up the numbers: decided in 6. Average margin of victory a whopping 14. One single digit game, the (what happened to the)Hawks 3 point, game 1 upset.
But the 2022 E/Cs, you say? It went 7 games, you say? I say thee Nay!, brave reader, they sucked too! Average margin of victory 13 points. Closest game 4 points. No classic moments. Just a less motivated Jimmy Butler, letting Boston win. (Maybe he had a hair appointment.)
The 2022 W/C’s were really good at being bad, also, a 5 game Warriors whupping of Luka and his Mav cronies, with another 12 point average margin of victory.
A trend. But is it a new trend?
Let’s look back in 10 year increments, and let the Past Glory wash our eyes clean. Or not.
2013 …
Oh my god, the Carnage. We almost wish the Internet broke before we found these numbers. I don’t remember what I was doing, but I hope it was something better than watching these games.
The Heat dispatched Pacers in 6, the average margin of victory was 12. The Spurs blew away the Russ/KD Thunder in 6. The average margin of victory in that sleeper was 18, including a couple colossal 30+ points blow-outs by the Spurs .. KD shoulda left after that, instead of waiting for a good series to trigger his exodus.
“Oh, but Tizzle, you’re not going back far enough! Back when the NBA was tough! Tizzle!”
Say, like 2003? Detroit’s bad boys whupped the Pacers in 5, with the Indy Kids squeaking out Game 1 by 4, then getting thumped by an average of 17 over the next 4. KG fared only slightly better against Shaq and Kobe, getting dumped in 6 games, by an average of 11 points.
Hopefully, I was mowing my lawn, or exercising, or eating healthy at the time, as a better way to die a little bit, each day.
“Come on Tizzle!”, you say. “3 years is NOT adequate sample space!”
First of all, nobody actually says ‘sample space.’ Second of all, fine, let’s go back 5 years.
The year: 2018, “Kahwi goes Kanadian.” The teams: Warriors-Blazers in the West, and the Bucks-Raptors in the East. The Result: a large pile of crap, and a slightly smaller pile of crap.
The Warriors sent Dame home in 4. Yeah, on overtime game. In Game 4, with Blazers already down 3-0. The other games were separated by an average of 12 points.
In Canada and Milwaukee, which is why we all forgot, the Raptors bounced the Bucks in 6, with games separated by an average of 11. In Canada, and Milwaukee.
Please don’t make me look again, this year, or prior years. This is why the NBA was put on tape delay in the 80s, for some reason, conference finals really, really suck.
Wake me up for Game 1 in Denver. But not for another blowout.