Whose Kevin is it, Anyway? 

From the MyPillow website, straight from Mike Lindell’s mouth:

“I guarantee that your MyPillow® will be the most comfortable pillow you’ll own or YOUR MONEY BACK! My Pillow Inc. will refund 100% of your purchase price (less shipping costs) for any reason within the first 60 days from the date you receive your original order. This refund will be processed within 30 days from the time we receive your returned product. Return costs are the responsibility of the customer. We regret that we cannot accept ‘bill recipient’ packages.”

Let’s try it with “MyKevin”, with some modest word replacements:

“I guarantee that your MyKevin® will be the most comfortable Speaker you’ll own or YOUR MONEY BACK! MyKevin® will perform 100% political fellatio (less shipping costs) for any reason within the first 60 days from the date he receives your original order. This political fellatio will be processed within 30 seconds from the time he receives your package. Return costs are the responsibility of the Democrats. We happily accept ‘bill recipient’ packages.”

MyKevin®. Get yours today!